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3. 省略與替換不當(dāng)
省略和替換是英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)言的突出特點(diǎn)。一般來(lái)說(shuō),在保持上下文意思清楚的前提下,句子的任何成分都可以省略,這樣,可以獲得簡(jiǎn)潔、流暢的行文效果。替換也是英語(yǔ)中常用的一種修辭手段(elegant variety)。即在一個(gè)句子中,甚至在一個(gè)段落中,應(yīng)盡量避免用同一個(gè)稱謂、同一個(gè)詞,這樣的句子才會(huì)顯得優(yōu)雅。但省略與替換都必須得當(dāng)。
例5 原文:買方必須提供符合買賣合同所規(guī)定的貨物,以及合同可能要求的證明貨物符合合同要求的憑證。
原譯:The seller must supply the goods in conformity with the contract of sales, together with such evidence of conformity as may be required by it.
在這句譯文中,最后一個(gè)單同“it”無(wú)疑指的是合同“contract”,但是如果不看漢語(yǔ)原文,脫離了上下文,就可能產(chǎn)生誤解,因?yàn)橛⑽谋旧砭哂忻黠@的不確定性。所以合同這個(gè)字在此處必須重復(fù)。
改譯:The seller must supply the goods in conformity with the contract of sales, together with such evidence of conformity as may be required by the contract.
例6 原文:法律、行政法規(guī)規(guī)定采用書面形式的,應(yīng)當(dāng)采用書面形式。當(dāng)事人約定采用書面形式的,應(yīng)當(dāng)采用書面形式。
原譯:Where the laws or administrative regulations require a contract lo be concluded in written form,the contract shall be in written form. If the parties agree to do so, it shall be concluded in written form.
在這句譯文中,“in written form”出現(xiàn)了三次,可見譯者的慎重態(tài)度。在從句中用了“so”來(lái)代替另一次重復(fù),也不失為明智之舉,絲毫不影響語(yǔ)義的準(zhǔn)確性和完整性。但是用“it”代替“contract”卻是值得商榷和推敲的,它無(wú)疑會(huì)影響到譯文對(duì)原文的忠實(shí)和精確程度。
改譯:Where the laws or administrative regulations require a contract to be concluded in written form, the contract shall he in written form. If the parties agree to do so, the contract shall be concluded in written form.
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